Best Day Ever
I am in my office, in the north corner of my home, early morning, the sky outside is still nighttime, I am looking at the full moon setting in the west as she aligns with Jupiter. It is a beautiful mystical sight! A gift to me from heaven.
Everyday is the best day ever. Yesterday was the best day ever, a day of dance and music from noon until near midnight. The day before had been the best day ever, until yesterday. And now, in this moment writing at my desk with moonlight, I begin the best day ever, once again!
Life is sweet and precious. With every dawn, we are born again like a newborn baby. Life resets at sunrise and travels through time towards sunset. A life lived in time is to be alive in the physical, in the body, in the material…..Life can also be lived in transcendent reality, where one is aware of one’s continuous spiritual connection to divinity and infinite love. Life in transcendent reality is amazing, transformative joy. Heaven is visible, above in the sky, surrounding and enveloping our earth with this energy of divine love. I live a life of 24/7 love, every moment of every day!!
“Thank you” …. There are no higher words than this simple expression of gratitude. I say “thank you “ continuously: all day,… all night,… always….Thank you
Would You like to dance with me?
I have recently begun ballroom and social dancing lessons at a local studio in Mystic, Connecticut. The Mystic Fred Astaire Dance Studio was founded 18 years ago, in 2007, by a Russian dancer, Vadim. Presently there are four others, M.J. the manager/dancer and three younger professional dancers who teach the students. These three: Nikita, Roman and the beautiful, charming Anastasiia are all from Ukraine. They speak Russian and English. They are wonderful, loving, talented people giving the gift of dance to us. They teach with authority and gentleness. It is so fun!!!
On Saturday, November 16, a very special, themed event took place at the studio, ‘The Disney Magic Showcase’. I had no idea what to expect, but it was a fascinating, entertaining, unbelievable showcase of talent, art, grace and beauty. First, our students performed and danced, each paired with a partner. I watched about thirty of these honor dances which lasted about 2 minutes each. Secondly, students and teachers dressed in wonderful, colorful Walt Disney character costumes, and performed more dances. The show ended with a grand finale showcase, in which the professional dancers performed. There were 5 professional dancers (3 men, 2 women) performing in pairs. Each dance was a different style and choreography. Our three Mystic studio professional dancers: (Nikita, Roman, Anastasiia) danced. Also, two special guest professional dancers came to perform for us. Each guest danced one dance. Natasha, who is from the Ukraine, danced with Nikita. Tsvetomir, who is from Bulgaria danced with Anastasiia. The remaining of the professional dances were all performed by Roman with Anastasiia. The professionals were amazing!
Watching the Bulgarian guest, Tsvetomir dance with Anastasiia transported me through time. Their dance reminded me of another event, years ago, when I had watched Mikhail Baryshnikov performing live on stage in New York City dancing in ‘Sinatra Suite’. Tsvetomire and Anastasiia were totally amazing and wonderful dancing together. And Anastasiia danced several more dances with Roman! Each dance different, and also, so amazing, and so wonderful!
Nikita and Natasha’s dance performance was incredibly beautiful, strikingly dramatic! and expressive! I felt as if I had never seen such grace and drama in combination in a dance. It was emotionally thrilling! My God! these dances and all these dancers were awesome, beautiful! The dances were transcendental. It was as if through this art of dance, through this moving of the body in time, in the physical, we were all transported to heaven.….This must be how you dance in heaven ! It was a Magical Kingdom in Mystic. Best day ever.
Until that night, best night ever, as I continued this day of dance celebration by dancing with a lovely lady at the Knickerbocker café in Westerly, RI, dancing and moving to a swinging blues band with a 4-piece horn section. Life is good. Thank you.
Ladies and Leaders. The Art of being a Gentleman.
Our studio teaches us in two ways: private instruction, one on one, and also in group lessons.
Group lessons are fun because there a usually a few men and a few women to participate. At one of my first group lessons, Roman announced that the Leaders ( men are the leaders) needed to learn the proper way for a gentleman to invite a lady to dance with him.
Roman demonstrated:
1. First, you take a flower in your hand and approach the lady
2. Then, you ask the lady politely, “ would you like to dance with me ? “ and as you ask her, you offer the flower to her as a gift for her. This flower is also symbolic of, ‘ a lady is a flower.’ She is as a flower who wants to open up and express her grace and beauty on the dance floor. The gentleman’s responsibility is to offer her the space in which to open up, by leading her and allowing her opportunities to express herself. It is a wonderful metaphor. I so love this. It was an amazing lesson. So different from anything I ever learned in my life before. It seemed as if this was the right order for the gentleman to honor, to lead, and to care for the lady ( the flower) .
3. Hopefully, she will accept both: the flower and your invitation to dance.
4. After she takes the flower, you offer her your right arm or your right hand so that she may hold it as you escort her unto the dance floor. You lead her as you are the leader. She is the lady.
5. It is understood, that the Leader’s posture is upright, back straight, head level. Sloppy, droopy posture is unacceptable and is criticized/corrected during class. Good posture is mandatory.
6. Upon arriving on the dance floor, the leader faces the lady and extends his arms and hand to her as the couple now forms a closed or open dance position.
7. Dance. Leaders lead. Ladies follow. This is the right order. The man has this responsibility to lead, and he must know what to do as a leader or he is not a leader yet. He is merely a leader in training.
8. After the dance ends. Thank you’s are exchanged and the lady is then free to move on or stay or do whatever she wants.
Roman’s class was beautiful. I never knew any of this before that night. American men can sometimes be inappropriately informal, sloppy, have terrible posture or be crude and impolite. This was much more than dance training. This was a class on how to behave as a gentleman. How to be respectful to a Lady. How to honor her and show gratitude to her for the gift of her company, her presence. I loved it and Roman’s lesson sunk into the depths of my heart. Yes, this is how to treat a woman. Treat her like a Lady because …She is a lady.
Currently, I am a leader in training, A gentleman in training, A beginning dancer in training.
Anastasiia is my dance teacher for private lessons. I am her student. She also teaches me how to behave and act as a Leader and a gentleman who cares for the Lady.
Anastasiia explains to me that I am the leader. She, the lady, is the flower. She wants to open up and to present her beauty in motion as she dances. She explains that the leader must care for the flower, so the flower feels that she can freely open up and express herself.
I love this. I feel alive at the privilege of caring for and giving my full attention to the beautiful flower who is my dance partner. This responsibility ignites the inner feeling of my masculine essence. I have a job to do. I must care for the flower. And by doing my job properly, I then provide a safe structural environment for her to express her divine feminine essence, her beauty, her grace. All these wonderful qualities of woman, of the lady.
Flowers are living things
As a man, not once in my life have I ever felt like a flower. Not even once! Not even a little bit. But I love flowers. Flowers are beautiful, delicate, fragrant living things. In nature, flowers are strong enough to grow up from seeds, push through the ground and keep growing straight up seeking sunlight. Most can grow on their own as nature usually provides. But unless a flower receives water, sun and soil nutrients the flower may wither and perish, may never bloom, may never fully open up and be beautiful. And if the flower doesn’t open, the bees can’t gather nutrients and the flowers can’t be pollinated and reproduce. If flowers don’t open up, life dies!!! Life stops !!! Busy bees are not able to work and be busy. One thing I love about flowers outside is watching the bees happily at work, sustaining bee life and flower life.
I remember an event about 10 years ago when my close friend Annie brought me a potted flower as a gift to beautify my front yard. I told her I couldn’t take care of it. It would probably die for lack of water as I did not have the discipline to water it. She ignored me, brought the flower and placed it where she wanted it and informed me that,
“ You have to learn how to care for living things. “
That was a lesson. It was a lot of work. I didn’t want to get in trouble by killing the flower off through neglect, so I watered it, as I complained and grumbled to myself every time I watered it. AND THEN!! like a miracle the flower stayed alive and grew and then more flowers bloomed. It got to be fun. Success changes a man. I was learning. Life 101. Water the flower.
Now, ten years later, Anastasiia is explaining to me that my dance partner, the lady, is the living thing, is the flower wanting care. I am beginning to get it. better late than never.
Right Order
It occurs to me that the dancing lessons are much more than dancing lessons. They are also life lessons in male and female social behaviour and relationship. Again I think of how American culture has weakened and neutered the difference between a man and a woman over the past 60 years. As if equality meant acting as if there is little or no difference between the sexual polarities of male:female.
I love these Ukranians and this Russian dance culture. They have preserved the natural order , the natural essence of man/woman. Each sex having such unique and wonderfully different qualities. Each sex is not just equal, but truly more than equal, because of these differences. I wonder why had American culture distorted and eroded this natural social order and behavior?
Men are men. Women are women. It is right for the man to behave as a gentleman and for the woman to be a lady.
The Way to treat a Woman
Currently my favorite blues band is based in London and named ‘Blue Harlem’ which has always featured a female vocalist with a sultry sexy voice. This band totally swings! My favorite song is, That’s the Way to treat your Woman
Lyrics:
Verse: when you got a woman, One that’s fine and true
Show that woman that you love her, With every thing you say and do
Chorus: That’s the way to treat your woman , That’s the way to treat your woman ,
Treat her that way, night and day, she’ll never go astray ,
Bridge: Treat her good early in the morning, in the evening when the sun goes down
And every time she needs you, make sure that you’re around.
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I love this song which teaches the man how to treat the woman in a love relationship with his beloved girlfriend or wife.
You don’t take her for granted. NOT EVER!!!! You treat her right. ALWAYS!! She gives you so much, you better give back to her because you love her. Therefore your behavior, your actions, your attitude are all loving ! Show your beloved that she is loved, every day, 24/7. She is appreciated. You are grateful for this blessing of her love, her work, her partnership and all she is and all she does. She needs to know that you love her, and appreciate her….Show her! Show her everyday.
This song has a harmonic similarity to: The leader cares for the lady as ‘ the flower’ metaphor taught at dance.
Life is a Dance
Each of us, whether man or woman, lives in our body. The physical body is incredible, the ultimate design, the ultimate physical form. The human body is in perpetual motion. Even when sleeping, the mind dreams while the lungs breath and the heart pumps.
I love my body so much. I love to work my body by doing hard manual labor, or hot challenging yoga, or swimming in the ocean, I love to feel my body in motion. This is all a dance of life. But the formal discipline of learning the art of social, ballroom dancing, is opening up new worlds to me, previously hidden. It is affecting everything I do. In my business. In my spiritual life. In my social relationships. As a leader and a gentleman, I accept my responsibility to serve others, to care for others, to lead others and to flow love to all I encounter, everyday, everywhere. Dancing is an instruction in living right. Life is a dance. To live life is to dance life. I just totally love it and I am grateful for this dance. Thank you.
Ladies are as beautiful flowers
Busy bees love flowers and sustaining life
Your Author, Kevin Cleary…….A Gentleman ‘ in training ‘
I enjoy reading your posts Kevin. They are full of insight and discoveries that are interesting and vulnerable. I can tell that you spend time and energy developing them as you share your life journey out loud. Keep going, it is an important time for all of us to get our voices out into the world - especially if we have positive, loving messages to share.